As this academic year draws to a close and a new class of freshmen prepares to step onto the University of Massachusetts campus, I find myself thinking a lot about my own freshmen and wondering what I could have done better. I noticed that.
When I first started applying to colleges, everyone told me I should join clubs as soon as possible because it’s the easiest way to make friends. Looking back now, three years later, I think that was sound advice. But no one mentions how extremely difficult it is to follow that advice.
When I binge-watched coming-of-age movies in college the summer before my freshman year, I thought it was a no-brainer. Sure, the main characters in the movie have a hard time at first leaving their families and friends behind, but they eventually figure it out and have a whole group to spend time with.
In real life, orientation leaders tell the story of how they met their best friends during their freshman year. Usually they meet through the orientation process or at a club they join. No one prepared me for a college experience like in the movies. Looking back, I shouldn’t have expected that, and honestly I probably wouldn’t have asked anyway.
In my first and second years, I moved around to various clubs and struggled for a while. I transferred after my freshman year and am an out-of-state student. Transferring was one of the better decisions I made, but it didn’t make the journey any easier.
UMass has nearly 300 registered student organizations, and sifting through each to find the right one can be a pain. It should be fun to try something new or learn to fall in love with an old hobby again, but learning that there are 300 organizations out there can be daunting and discouraging.
To this day, I’ve never really had a set group of friends, but many of the people I met along the way expressed the same struggles I did. It’s hard to put yourself out there, especially when you feel like everyone already knows each other and doesn’t want to get to know you. It’s hard to muster up the courage to join a club or organization when everything is new and scary. It’s still scary walking into a room full of people when you don’t know anyone, but it’s slowly getting better. I’ve learned that the best thing I can do is continue to put myself out there and continue to take advantage of opportunities as they arise.
Many of my friends thought they were alone in this fight. We talked for a long time about how impossible it is to make new friends past first grade and how everyone always seems to be criticizing those around them. It’s hard to get over feeling like the spotlight is on you and everyone is waiting for you to fail.
As I continued to explore this campus and meet new people, it was an interesting process of realizing that people come and go in my life. My life is not like a movie yet and I don’t expect it to be anymore, but I am very grateful for my friends. Therefore, joining a club and promoting yourself is something every college student should do, regardless of their grade. It’s important not to expect things to be easy.
Katie Seda can be contacted at: [email protected] I followed X at @KatieSeda_.
