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We’ve all encountered nosy co-workers who are more interested in your weekend plans than your work results. It’s understandable to want to avoid them like the plague, but it’s important to dodge the questions without alienating them. The truth is that failing to connect with colleagues and others in your industry can negatively impact your career goals. According to the International Journal of Environmental Research, “When it comes to likability and ability, people tend to be more likely to like a coworker (regardless of ability level) than to a more competent coworker. I highly value it.”
It helps to understand why your coworker wants to be friends with you. Dr. Michael Dominguez-Brown explains that for some people, work can become a lifeline for social interaction. She likens the office to an elementary school, a cradle for social connections. “Nearness usually means friendship,” she tells ESSENCE. “There is no adult play area. The closest thing to a play area is a workspace.”
You don’t have to attend or chat at every company happy hour. vanderpump rules How to succeed with hours of Slack. Still, you should have strategies for dealing with the interpersonal nature of the workplace. “We like to believe that work is just a job, but it’s a social environment,” says Dominguez-Brown.
This strategy is necessary because, as research has shown, it is not easy to get promoted at work without the support of colleagues.
“I’m not saying you can’t be successful if people don’t care about you, but it’s a tough hill to climb, there’s no doubt about it,” says Human Callan Ferrell Rose. Resources and leadership experts.
Nina Westbrook, Certified Marriage and Family Therapist, Host A podcast about relationships, we recommend setting firm parameters and prioritizing self-care so you don’t violate your boundaries. “Allocate specific times for work-related activities and personal time, and try to stick to them,” she suggests in her email. “Remember to prioritize self-care and honor your personal needs while pursuing your career dreams. To perform at your best at work, you must first be able to take care of yourself. yeah.”
When interacting with colleagues, uncomfortable topics may come up in conversation. Dr. Gina Cox recommends that if she is asked about something she doesn’t want to share, she attacks aggressively. “What you can do is maybe respond by talking about what you want to talk about,” she says.
For example, if the person in the cubicle next to you asks if your partner ever asks that question, distract them with a cute story about something your pet did over the weekend. “Make sure to participate in the conversation about things you don’t mind sharing,” says Ferrell-Rose. “So you may not want to talk about your partner, spouse, family. But if you love traveling and are happy to talk about it, why not share?”
Organizational psychologists practice this in their own professional lives. She provides selected details about her spouse and children to anyone who wants to know more about her personal life, and shuts out the rest. “People who do that will probably leave if you tell them a little bit about what you want to talk about,” she says.
It’s also helpful to listen to your teammates and find out what they’re interested in. See if their interests are common and you feel comfortable connecting. “One effective strategy is to find common interests and foster bonds among colleagues without getting too personal,” says clinical psychologist Ryan C. Warner, Ph.D. I affirm.
“When you turn the tables and ask them to share a list of fields or fields they are passionate about, you become an active listener, because you can share the things that you value as well. You can pick one or two,’” Ferrell-Rose added.
Westbrook offers techniques for demonstrating team spirit without feeling like you’re trying too hard. She says, “You can start doing acts of kindness like bringing snacks to your team, organizing lunchtime get-togethers centered around work-related discussions or hobbies, or volunteering to help with a project.” ” she says. “Building friendships through mutual respect and cooperation can help you build meaningful relationships without delving too deeply into your personal lives.”
You won’t get any extra points by boasting that your only goal is to start and finish recording. Be open to making connections. But be sure to do so without compromising your values or comfort.
“You don’t have to walk around with a scroll or open up and declare what you’re going to participate in and what you’re not going to participate in,” advises Dominguez-Brown. Instead, find ways to implement your boundaries in a respectful way, Cox says.
“One of the things you really have to think about is making sure that when you’re setting boundaries or not giving the person or the other person everything they need, they still feel seen. Please listen and rate.”
