One person approaches another person’s ear, covers their mouth with their hand, and begins whispering excitedly. The other person listens intently with raised eyebrows, then scurries off to spread the news further.
This is how gossip always spreads along the office vineyard, and according to Dr. Elena Martinez, a behavioral scientist who studies the psychology of gossip at Amsterdam’s Vrije University, this is completely unexpected. It’s within range.
“Whenever people get together, there’s bound to be gossip,” she says.
A 2019 University of California study found that we gossip for an average of 52 minutes every day. Before we quibble about this finding, Martinez says it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Gossip is one way we share information about others. “This allows you to learn about other people based on their past behavior and decide whether you want to interact with them in the future,” she says. “Our own observations are always limited, so it helps to also take into account what others have seen and heard.”
Gossip also helps us understand social norms. “By listening to how people talk about the behavior of others, you learn what is acceptable and what is not, and you modify your own behavior accordingly,” says Martinez.
Damian McCarthy, HR consultant and founder of www.hrbuddy.ie, agrees that gossip can be beneficial, but warns of its negative effects.
“It shows you are an open and welcoming workplace and shows camaraderie among your team,” he says. “But when it becomes negative or malicious, it can have a negative impact on the work environment.”
Work and organizational psychologist Leesha Redmond McGrath explains the difference between the two types of gossip.
“When a colleague got engaged, one person’s reaction was, ‘I heard so-and-so got engaged. That looks fun!’ Another said, ‘Did you see her ring?’ It’s small! ” Both of these comments could be considered gossip, but one comes from a place of kindness that promotes social bonding, and the other encourages comparison and judgment. It’s not good for anyone. ”
It’s not always easy to recognize the difference between the two. “Gossip can be pro-social in that it’s aimed at helping others, but it can also be purposefully aimed at damaging someone’s reputation,” Martinez Mr. Ku says. “People who are used to gossip know how to package it to hide their real motives.”
Good intentions or bad intentions?
Redmond McGrath offers tips for learning how to read between the lines. “Ask yourself why the gossiper is sharing this information,” she says. “Are they trying to bring someone down or elevating themselves? Would they talk about that person the same way if that person were in front of them? These questions It can help determine whether information has crossed the line and become more harmful.”
You may also be able to tell the difference between the two types of gossip by noticing how it makes you feel.
“Malicious gossip creates a poor working environment,” says Martinez. “People distance themselves from those around them because they worry about how they are perceived and how their words and actions will be distorted.”
Harmful gossip erodes trust, says Redmond McGrath. “When people talk about other people, we can’t help but wonder if they’re also talking behind our backs. This can make us reluctant to share personal information and create strong bonds and relationships at work. It can affect your ability to form friendships. It can also affect your performance because you don’t feel safe expressing your whole self.”
McCarthy adds other potential ramifications as well. “Gossip can lead to low morale and hurt feelings and reputations,” he says. “Rumors spread, which increases employee anxiety, creates divisions as people take sides, and reduces employee retention as good employees leave due to unhealthy working conditions. There is a possibility.”
He urges organizations to put policies in place to stop gossip that hurts employees. “These policies need to be as clear as possible, giving examples of negative gossip so people understand what it is,” he says. “You should also explain why gossip is regulated by outlining the impact it has on employee relations, reputation, and company attrition. And how seriously the company takes this issue To demonstrate this, there should be penalties for employees who routinely engage in negative gossip.”
A strong stance against gossip must be balanced with the right of workers to speak freely.
“Employees still have the right to discuss workplace topics such as wages, hours, and working conditions,” McCarthy says. “Their environment should be one where they feel comfortable chatting and having harmless banter.”
Redmond McGrath advises organizations to include training in implementing anti-gossip policies. “This is a very effective way to start a conversation,” she says. “This will help everyone understand the damage that gossip can cause, and will also provide skills and steps they can use to combat it.”
If gossip is particularly prevalent in your organization, Martinez suggests thinking about why it’s so.
“What’s going on in that environment?” she asks. “Is there a lot of competition? Is there a lot of uncertainty? Gossip can be an alarm signal that draws attention to issues that need to be addressed.”
One way to address this problem might be to provide an avenue for workers to express their grievances. Another thing to do is to let your manager know you can talk to them about any workplace-related issues you may have.
“Open communication channels can help limit gossip,” says McCarthy.
avoid participating
Employees can take a firm stand against gossip. “It’s not always easy because no one wants to stand out from the group,” Redmond-McGrath says. “But you shouldn’t feel like you have to engage in malicious gossip. Just stay silent or say that you don’t feel comfortable talking about others in that way before changing the subject.” Most people don’t want to engage in harmful conversations, so they will follow our instructions.
Martinez also advises paying close attention to our own gossip tendencies. “When you hear gossip, you need to think about what’s causing it,” she says. “We should only share things that have positive intentions behind them.”
She sympathizes with people who become the subject of office gossip. “This can be a painful position,” she says. “It can lead to people withdrawing into themselves and distancing themselves from groups.”
If something like this happens to you, Redmond McGrath recommends seeking support rather than suffering in silence. “Chat with her colleagues or, if you feel strong enough, talk to the person who started the rumors,” she says. “If you choose the latter, bring along a third party, perhaps another co-worker or a human resources representative. Remember; being exposed to gossip can be dangerous, especially if it has ongoing negative intentions or consequences. If involved, it can be a form of bullying.”
Ms. Martinez’s research shows that gossip is a double-edged sword, and her advice is to treat it as such.
“Gossip is a very useful source of information that provides information and clarity about the environment and people around us, highlighting both existing and potential problems,” she says. “But it can also be driven by pernicious motives that are intended to cause damage. We need to be aware of this in order to decide how to react and what to do about incoming gossip. there is.”
